i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
