Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
