so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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