I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
