belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
