bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
