Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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