Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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