I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
