I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My pussy is not your playground.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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