Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
