I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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