ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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