Buhtt sex?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
