Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you win again, gameday.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize