The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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