Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
