I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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