Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
