its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
