I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
