I don't remember. Are we still dating?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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