he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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