It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My vagina just clenched in fear
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
