i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize