Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
