I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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