hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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