No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
