she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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