Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
