I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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