return my video game
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I would fuck him just for his dog
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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