Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
