ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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