You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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