Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
