Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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