dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
