I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
is it fun? or sober?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
