Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
