have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
