We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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