That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
