i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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