I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
