i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
