he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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