He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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