"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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