i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
