oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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