I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
