State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
3pm strippers are depressing
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
