His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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