Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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