If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
