I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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