on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
