found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
