What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
should my penis look like a turkey
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
