My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
