If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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